Okay, I am not a scientist or an expert on this, whatsoever, but I thought I would like to bring it up. I am currently staying with my lovely aunt at the moment, and we spoke on this topic a couple days ago.
I used to be the type of person, like many, who would stress about what I was currently doing, what to do next, what to say next, etc. At times, I still am that person, but I have come to acceptance by doing nothing as well as enjoying the silence.
In terms of doing tasks and staying busy, I have been on both sides. Some of you may relate to being a child and constantly being “bored,” or maybe not wanting to take naps. Growing up, I would long for those times, as I would miss sleep and miss relaxation. Being in the high’s and low’s of it all, I have found a balance between the two.
I can still take naps if I want. I can still allow myself to be bored, which has become most apparent in quarantine. I can still relax.
While I can do all of those, I can still do tasks. I can still stay busy when I want to. I control it all.
This balance of not doing anything, and doing things, has allowed me to go at my own pace, and not have the same stress I used to carry.
It all ties back to being in the now. Meditation has helped me with staying present, as well.
When speaking with my aunt, we spoke of the power of doing nothing, not just by yourself, but with friends. With friends, there comes a tendency to want to constantly be doing something or eating something or going on adventures. We don’t need that, all the time.
Sometimes just sitting with your friends and talking is where the true fun is. I have found that the friends I have that I can do that with, without the pressure and stress of having an activity, are my true friends that I have such a strong connection with.
Yet, there are times that silence occurs in interaction with others. Somehow, society has correlated this with a relationship that “doesn’t click” or “isn’t right.” I feel that it shouldn’t be inflicted upon others to constantly be talking with one another. Silence is a valuable thing, in and of itself, in which we could learn even more about each other, as well as take a breath to focus on our own self at the moment.
At times it is silent, there is forced conversation, which, in my opinion, leads to even more of a relationship in which it “doesn’t click,” or “isn’t right.” The conversation should never be forced, in my opinion. Weren’t we always taught to be ourselves, rather than someone else? Have you ever forced a comment or conversation in which you thought in your head: “I have never said anything like that, before?” Ya, me too.
A good example of when this becomes apparent, are the first dates. Or maybe even second or third dates. For me personally, I would like to be myself and open up as soon as I start dating someone. Silence is okay in those situations, because I know I wouldn’t do my personality justice if I forced a conversation. A conversation I truly didn’t want to have.
Another example is, I have friends I can sit in silence with, in the car. To me, that is comfort. Not discomfort.
So, take some time to really be in the moment and allow silence to take over. Give your mind and body a break, and take time to “do nothing.” Why not?